US Retaliates for Martha Stewart Snub By Refusing Visa to Boy George

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mojo-photo-marthaboy.jpgOkay, I have absolutely no evidence that there is any connection between these two events, but how awesome would it be if there were? Imagine: an escalating war of visa denials, forcing our two nations’ greatest instructional homemakers and ’80s pop stars to remain trapped within their borders. Sorry, Adam Ant; turn around, Rachel Ray; no thanks, Feargal Sharkey; some other time, uh, Robin Miller. The U.S., deprived of the sweetly androgynous British singers of yesteryear, makes Ryan Adams tie bows in his hair and put on an oversized “Frankie Say Relax” T-shirt, and in the U.K., dinner parties hang in the balance until Helen Mirren is dragged into the BBC and forced to instruct a hapless populace on proper construction-paper craft techniques. Finally, a peace deal is brokered at the so-called Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) Accords, but not before thousands are injured by rubber cement mishaps and Foreigner records.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah: Boy George has been denied a visa to enter the U.S. for a summer tour, scheduled to begin July 11, due to his current legal problems involving a Norwegian escort who accused the singer of false imprisonment and assault. And who hasn’t been there. The case is still pending, with a trial date set for November. A spokesperson for George said the singer was “astounded” by the decision and that he was hoping to “repay his American fans’ loyalty.” Now, if he wants to come clean up our streets again, that would be okay.

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