Brodner’s Person of the Day: Alberto Gonzales

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Human Campfire of the Day

Alberto Gonzales. In testimony yesterday, stooping lower and lower to the clear line of perjury he…crossed it, lying about his famous Ashcroft hospital room performance. Why Gonzales, who is clearly not retarded, does this really must be pondered. What the hell could be back there that is so worth protecting by this slow-motion suicide???? This performance reminds me of Vincent “The Chin” Gigante running the mob while shuffling in a bathrobe, feigning mental illness. Is it that he brings Bush warmth on those cold, lonely nights? Or is this just some kind of camp?

P.S.: The White House defended him today, saying, “He spoke consistently.” I’ll have that drink now.